Tag Archives: discouraged

An Update

So, I fell off the bandwagon when it came down to keeping myself accountable. After the last post, I just realized how each day was becoming a cheat day, and I was just getting really discouraged and unmotivated to keep track of everything. It wasn’t that I fell off right away, there was a week where I had to go out to buy another tank to work out in because I ran out of tanks to wear to go work out in. My lowest weight at one point was 118.0 or was it 117.6? One of the two, I may have just had that second number in my head for no reason.

But since all that, stress has come and it appears to stay. I’m a stress eater. Not to mention, if I’m in stress mode for long enough, I get into this depressed mode. Depressed eating is even worse than stress eating. Depressed mode is where I eat and I don’t even care that I’m eating.

All in all, I feel pretty crappy as of right now. I’m not sure if I’m bloated or I’m gaining back the weight and everything. All I can say is that I AM NOT A HAPPY CAMPER. I need to go back to clean eating, monitoring what I eat, limiting what I eat. It didn’t help that I just bought another box of those snack packages of Oreos, the ones where there’s 6 cookies in a pouch. OREOS ARE SO GOOD THOUGH!

I need to go back to going out to the gym again, spend time there, but then now a days I’m so tired. Tired enough that I can pass out for 2-3 hours for a nap and then go back to sleep later on. But I also haven’t been sleeping very well, waking up around 6 regardless of what time I went to bed (even if it’s 3:30am) and then waking up every hour since. I realize that I have a lot of things to do, and time is running out! Which makes me not want to go to the gym even more.

But no excuses. I can’t let myself keep making these excuses. I made a promise to myself, I gifted myself better health for my birthday. That is what I need to work towards. I did decide that once I hit 115, I was going to bake a tiramisu cake from scratch to celebrate though? I know it’s counter intuitive, but tiramisu is my absolute favorite cake/dessert there is out there and I can eat it all day if I didn’t have to face all the unpleasant consequences.

In any case, I’ll post my “new” starting weight again, and start this journey all over again, tomorrow morning first thing so I’m more consistent with when I measure my weight. At first you don’t succeed, try and try again right? Eventually I’ll get down to what I want to get to. 

In terms of food, I’m refraining from going to the store unless I need to. It’s going to be a creative adventure that may or may not be clean to just eat all the food that I have laying around in my kitchen. Tonight I made a Thai Curry Soup, and for dessert I made chè xanh (a Vietnamese dessert soup with mung bean and coconut milk).

And I need to start writing out my to do lists again, otherwise things get forgotten or never done. So unfortunately, this is where that bit of information will be jotted down as well. So I apologize in advance.


[Day 22: Three Weeks In]

No progress so far. Oye. Maybe I just need to go poo.

[The Numbers]

  • Weight: 123.6 pounds
  • Water Intake: 750 mL by noon, 750 mL post workout
  • Workout Time: 65 minutes elliptical (580 calories burnt)

[The Meal Plan]

  • Breakfast: skipped
  • Lunch: skipped
  • Dinner: gỏi gà
  • Dessert: tiramisu cake (small slice), 3 cookies, 1 pomegranate, 1 tablespoon of peanut butter

[Day 7: eh?]

I thought I was supposed to losing weight. Not gaining weight. I swear my caloric intake has been restricted, I’ve been working out more than I have been in the past. In fact, I wasn’t working out at all before in the past asides from the random spurts where I go “GYM TIME!” then a week later you won’t see me step near a gym. I find that this is just really frustrating, and I’m not getting any of the results that I’ve been wanting to achieve. Not even the weight loss bit. I’m highly discouraged and I don’t know what to do. UGH.

I’m definitely sore all over right now because of that insanity workout video though. It hurts to move, and walking up the stairs is a KILLER. After the work out today, I think it’s even worse. It hurts to walk. Oye. I forgot that I am predisposed with tight calves in the first place.

[The Numbers]

  • Weight: 125.2 lbs
  • Water Intake:  750 mL by 11:30am, 750 mL by 1pm, 750 mL by end of workout, 300 mL by bedtime = total water intake 2750 mL
  • Workout Time: 30 minutes in the weight room, 35 minutes on the treadmill (2 miles out of it, but I pushed myself to run more this time – I can do a straight 2 minutes at 6 mph now, compared to the 30 seconds at that rate last week), and 60 minutes playing raquetball by myself = total work out time 125 minutes

[The Meal Plan]

  • Breakfast: 1 granny smith apple, 1 serving of mozzarella with red roasted tomatoes from Wegmans
  • Lunch: bánh bèo (a Vietnamese dish consisting of mini rice pancakes topped with green onions and chopped dried shrimp), and two clementines
  • Dinner: cháo vịt (duck congee) – it’s the last of it!
  • Snack: 4 clementines – they’re so delicious!!!

PS. Just for the record, my duck congee only used 2 cups of rice which lasted me 5 meals. Most of what I ate was the cliantro, scallions, and bean sprouts I mixed into the congee so it was more like congee mixed in with the veggies.