Tag Archives: frustrations

An Update

So, I fell off the bandwagon when it came down to keeping myself accountable. After the last post, I just realized how each day was becoming a cheat day, and I was just getting really discouraged and unmotivated to keep track of everything. It wasn’t that I fell off right away, there was a week where I had to go out to buy another tank to work out in because I ran out of tanks to wear to go work out in. My lowest weight at one point was 118.0 or was it 117.6? One of the two, I may have just had that second number in my head for no reason.

But since all that, stress has come and it appears to stay. I’m a stress eater. Not to mention, if I’m in stress mode for long enough, I get into this depressed mode. Depressed eating is even worse than stress eating. Depressed mode is where I eat and I don’t even care that I’m eating.

All in all, I feel pretty crappy as of right now. I’m not sure if I’m bloated or I’m gaining back the weight and everything. All I can say is that I AM NOT A HAPPY CAMPER. I need to go back to clean eating, monitoring what I eat, limiting what I eat. It didn’t help that I just bought another box of those snack packages of Oreos, the ones where there’s 6 cookies in a pouch. OREOS ARE SO GOOD THOUGH!

I need to go back to going out to the gym again, spend time there, but then now a days I’m so tired. Tired enough that I can pass out for 2-3 hours for a nap and then go back to sleep later on. But I also haven’t been sleeping very well, waking up around 6 regardless of what time I went to bed (even if it’s 3:30am) and then waking up every hour since. I realize that I have a lot of things to do, and time is running out! Which makes me not want to go to the gym even more.

But no excuses. I can’t let myself keep making these excuses. I made a promise to myself, I gifted myself better health for my birthday. That is what I need to work towards. I did decide that once I hit 115, I was going to bake a tiramisu cake from scratch to celebrate though? I know it’s counter intuitive, but tiramisu is my absolute favorite cake/dessert there is out there and I can eat it all day if I didn’t have to face all the unpleasant consequences.

In any case, I’ll post my “new” starting weight again, and start this journey all over again, tomorrow morning first thing so I’m more consistent with when I measure my weight. At first you don’t succeed, try and try again right? Eventually I’ll get down to what I want to get to. 

In terms of food, I’m refraining from going to the store unless I need to. It’s going to be a creative adventure that may or may not be clean to just eat all the food that I have laying around in my kitchen. Tonight I made a Thai Curry Soup, and for dessert I made chè xanh (a Vietnamese dessert soup with mung bean and coconut milk).

And I need to start writing out my to do lists again, otherwise things get forgotten or never done. So unfortunately, this is where that bit of information will be jotted down as well. So I apologize in advance.

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[Day 22: Three Weeks In]

No progress so far. Oye. Maybe I just need to go poo.

[The Numbers]

  • Weight: 123.6 pounds
  • Water Intake: 750 mL by noon, 750 mL post workout
  • Workout Time: 65 minutes elliptical (580 calories burnt)

[The Meal Plan]

  • Breakfast: skipped
  • Lunch: skipped
  • Dinner: gỏi gà
  • Dessert: tiramisu cake (small slice), 3 cookies, 1 pomegranate, 1 tablespoon of peanut butter

Skin Care Routines

Did I mention I’m really sick and tired of my skin? Too bad I can’t just strip it all away. But in any case, I was reading up on skincare routines and all that jazz and I’m even more confused now more than ever. There’s so many steps, and so many different products. Good thing I’m going to start investing in this stuff right so it’ll become more of a planned purchase instead of a sporadic ones. Planned ones always go over much better.

So according to Dr. Schultz (a dermatologist with his own line of skincare products and a YouTube channel, and all that jazz – DermTV.com) in one of his posts (link here), I need to cleanse, tone, and exfoliate in the morning, and cleanse, toner, and antioxidize in the evening. I do have a bottle of Biore’s toner back in MA that I should continue using up, I just got sick and tired of it. I think after that bottle’s done with, I’ll go to Witch Hazel, I’ve heard of good things about it. And the scent isn’t as strong from what I can remember. My cleanser is my exfoliant? Does that count? Currently, I’ve been using Clean and Clear’s 3 in 1 Exfoliating Cleanser. I know that with the clarisonic that I’m going to be purchase sometime in the next few weeks, I’ll have to switch it up and I might just go to the Clean and Clear Continuous Control Acne Cleanser. Boy was that a mouthful, but it’s also 10% benzoyl peroxide opposed to the current cleanser which is at 5%.

Funny thing that cleanser, for a while the 3 in 1 was actually on back order due to some warehouse issues, and I couldn’t get my hands on it. Man did my face hate me. The 10% didn’t really do much for me, but the 5% was what I had been using for a while and it worked. Yet now that I’m using it again, it doesn’t seem to have the same kick, and my skin’s been rather finicky since. Maybe I should try something else with benzoyl peroxide and see if it works, definitely not the 10% though. I once heard that whether it be 10% or 1% it didn’t really make a difference in terms of its effectiveness, it’s just its adverse effects (dry skin) becomes more predominant. I should look back at my self-care therapeutics notes and check and maybe even do a personal journal club assignment about it. Treating myself as a patient. Oh boy, I must really be bored.

But in any case, my normal routine is salicylic acid whenever I would shower, and benzoyl at night. Both were exfoliants, so I guess I’ll have to switch up once I get the clarisonic. Oh boy… this whole skincare routine’s going on a complete overhaul apparently.

Moisturizer is another issue that I’ve been needing to address. My Bliss one is discontinued, my bare minerals ones isn’t working. I’m trying out this Clinique gel moisturizer right now that I got a sample of at Macy’s one day when I was hanging out at the mall with L. I’m not entirely sure what I think about it right now. Today’s the end of day one of using it. So we’ll see how it goes, I might need to get a second sample to really see how well it works. I have the lotion version of the moisturizer too, but I’m kind of nervous using it since the lady said that there’s mineral oil in it and may cause me to break out even worse. I don’t quite want that. I should go visit Sephora and load myself up with samples again when I get back to MA too. Or now, I guess I could just “stock up” now. Not like I have anything better to do with myself. Overall, I guess this whole moisturizer thing is going to be trial and error until I find one that works again and hope that it doesn’t get discontinued like the bliss one that I loved oh so much!

So therefore, basic routine thus far? Cleanser – needs to be changed, Toner – should just use up then try Witch Hazel, Moisturizer – trial and error phase right now. Then there’s the Clarisonic Mia which I’m determined to buy right now, only thing holding me back is the upcoming Sephora Friends and Family sale from the 18th to 31st. If I can save money, why not.

In addition to the basics, I want to find some products that’ll help minimize the hyper-pigmentation on my skin. I’ve just started to directly apply Vitamin E Skin Oil on those spots, and I guess I’ll keep at it until I run out of the bottle and see how that goes. Then there’s my stupid pores, I noticed earlier today that the pores around my nose, on my nose and between my eyebrows are horrible. I applied make up and it seemed like it made my pores even worse. Not cool, not cool. So they’re definitely a concern, but I’ll work on this after I get a skin care routine down and all that jazz. I hear that witch hazel helps with the pores issues, as well as the clarisonic. Then finally, I feel like my skin’s hating me and deciding it wants to get old. I have this wrinkle? line? on my forehead from raising my brow too much because apparently I do that when I’m confused or really concentrated (I blame school). So I guess I want something to help with that before my skin ages prematurely. Dark circles are also appearing under my eyes, no bueno! Gotta find an eye cream or something for that too. Crap.

Thus in summary, after the basics are covered, I want something that’ll help with hyper-pigmentation, enlarged pores, fine lines, and dark circles.

Gah, writing this post makes me feel old. But I guess the sooner I start, the better!