For the majority of my life, I’ve gone with the flow of things. Following the natural progression events that come at me and taking the next step that just seems logical. I’m the planner, the initiator, but never will I claim to be the doer. I do things of course, but like I said, it just follows the natural progression of things.
For instance, the whole school thing. I wanted to be a doctor, so then I became a biochemistry major partly because the required classes for that major overlapped a lot of the required prerequisites for medical school. When I decided to forego the idea of becoming a doctor as I realized there were more things I wanted to do in life, I said I wanted to be a prostheticist.Sure, but here I am two years away from getting a doctorate in Pharmacy. Why? Because it was the most practical thing to do with what I had accomplished thus far. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still get that job satisfaction. I’ll still love what I do, I wouldn’t be in it if I couldn’t see myself enjoying it. The point of this is to illustrate my tendency to just follow the natural logical progression of things.
If that flow doesn’t exist, things don’t happen. That’s the reason why I say that I’m not a doer. Looking at past blog entries from my old blogs from the xanga to the livejournal, to the blogger and finally wordpress. I’ll say that I’ll do something, that I want change. I’ll plan it, I’ll even initiate it. But the problem comes down to not following through on it. Sometimes I make excuses saying that I’m too busy for it, or that I can’t handle it.
I want to be a doer.
I want to go out there and do things, make goals and achieve them. Make goals that aren’t career or school related. Part of all of this stems from the fact that growing up, my parents always pushed the whole being accomplished in school and attaining a sustainable career. They never really pushed me towards anything else. After I’ve gotten my PharmD and everything, what else is there to achieve then? School would be done. Career will be achieved. What next?
I wish I could reinvent my life. Or at least how I go about things. I’m not unsatisfied with how far I’ve come since I’ve been on my own. It’s just now that I’ve uncovered myself, I need to start branching out to start figuring out what I want to do with myself. I don’t want my life’s only accomplishments to be succeeding in school and becoming a Pharmacist.
Dramatic changes never stick though. So I guess I’ll work on it little by little, step by step. There are a number of things that I want to do with myself, that I used to do and I miss doing (I blame school for derailing me from some of these things).
To start, I guess I should list some things that I want to start doing (again):
- Reading Books – even if it’s for a little bit a day or every other day
- Reading the News – I want to be more knowing of the world around me; as of right now I have no idea what’s going on asides from what friends who do follow these things post on facebook.
- Working Out – this is a big one, I told myself to start working out December of 2010. And I did, then getting sick got in the way and I wasn’t able to continue the momentum after the sickness went away; I started when school started up again, but the early sunsets and cold deterred me from the gym. I haven’t been back at the gym since.
- Cooking – I want to be able to cook healthily, and appropriately for myself. I don’t want to overdo the cooking. Despite the fact that a dish can be a foodgasm in the mouth, it’s only good in small amounts. I want to be more conscience of the food waste, and how much I can eat and how much I do need to cook.
- Budgeting/Being Financially Responsible (or Sound) – I never really had to think about money before, and well my first semester of Pharmacy school had unexpected financial. Second semester, faired a little better.
- Stop using school as an excuse for everything.
I think that’s mostly what I want to start off doing, and I guess I can really just get into it all right now. I know that the last three are things I’m really going to try and work on this semester. So what am I going to do to get the ball rolling with this?
- I’ll be starting the Insanity workout routine this coming Tuesday (so that according to their schedule, I’ll be able to have Mondays off since they’re the heavier school days for me, thus I can’t use it as an excuse to avoid working out). I’ll probably keep track of how I’m doing with Insanity on this blog just so I can continue to motivate myself. There will probably be before and after pictures as well and actual weight values. Let’s see if this program really works the wonders it says it does right?
- Cooking sort of goes along with my idea of eating healthier. I need to stop eating large portions, and also so irregularly. I want to eat smaller, yet more frequent meals. I know it sounds like I’m about to go into this diet frenzy but I’m not, not really at least. I already feel that I eat pretty healthy as it is, so I don’t feel the need to change what I eat, but more how I eat. In addition, I want to plan out what I’m going to eat so I can shop better and so that there will be less food waste (thus saving money).
- Budgeting – I’m smart with money, at least I always was when I had a consistent income coming in instead of a bulk of money all at once. I guess one thing is that I should eat out less. Maybe make it a goal to only eat out once a week or something like that.
I don’t want to just succeed in school, but I want to succeed in life too. So hopefully this is a new beginning. It’s never too late for those.
Time to stop planning, and start doing.