Tag Archives: resolutions

An Update

So, I fell off the bandwagon when it came down to keeping myself accountable. After the last post, I just realized how each day was becoming a cheat day, and I was just getting really discouraged and unmotivated to keep track of everything. It wasn’t that I fell off right away, there was a week where I had to go out to buy another tank to work out in because I ran out of tanks to wear to go work out in. My lowest weight at one point was 118.0 or was it 117.6? One of the two, I may have just had that second number in my head for no reason.

But since all that, stress has come and it appears to stay. I’m a stress eater. Not to mention, if I’m in stress mode for long enough, I get into this depressed mode. Depressed eating is even worse than stress eating. Depressed mode is where I eat and I don’t even care that I’m eating.

All in all, I feel pretty crappy as of right now. I’m not sure if I’m bloated or I’m gaining back the weight and everything. All I can say is that I AM NOT A HAPPY CAMPER. I need to go back to clean eating, monitoring what I eat, limiting what I eat. It didn’t help that I just bought another box of those snack packages of Oreos, the ones where there’s 6 cookies in a pouch. OREOS ARE SO GOOD THOUGH!

I need to go back to going out to the gym again, spend time there, but then now a days I’m so tired. Tired enough that I can pass out for 2-3 hours for a nap and then go back to sleep later on. But I also haven’t been sleeping very well, waking up around 6 regardless of what time I went to bed (even if it’s 3:30am) and then waking up every hour since. I realize that I have a lot of things to do, and time is running out! Which makes me not want to go to the gym even more.

But no excuses. I can’t let myself keep making these excuses. I made a promise to myself, I gifted myself better health for my birthday. That is what I need to work towards. I did decide that once I hit 115, I was going to bake a tiramisu cake from scratch to celebrate though? I know it’s counter intuitive, but tiramisu is my absolute favorite cake/dessert there is out there and I can eat it all day if I didn’t have to face all the unpleasant consequences.

In any case, I’ll post my “new” starting weight again, and start this journey all over again, tomorrow morning first thing so I’m more consistent with when I measure my weight. At first you don’t succeed, try and try again right? Eventually I’ll get down to what I want to get to. 

In terms of food, I’m refraining from going to the store unless I need to. It’s going to be a creative adventure that may or may not be clean to just eat all the food that I have laying around in my kitchen. Tonight I made a Thai Curry Soup, and for dessert I made chè xanh (a Vietnamese dessert soup with mung bean and coconut milk).

And I need to start writing out my to do lists again, otherwise things get forgotten or never done. So unfortunately, this is where that bit of information will be jotted down as well. So I apologize in advance.


[Day 16: It’s Too Early]

I’m actually really tired today, and I’m not entirely sure why. Just sitting here in my little cubicle at the clinic makes my eyes want to shut, and my mind wants to wander away. I need to get into the habit of sleeping more, I know it’s a bad habit that’s been nearly impossible to break. The best streak I’ve ever had was on my first rotation where I was going to bed by 10pm, but at the same time I was waking up at 4:30am then to leave the house by 5:30am to get to the hospital.

I don’t even know why I stay up so late sometimes. It’s not like I’m doing anything important, I’m just browsing the internet and mindlessly playing some web game (i.e., Candy Crush – level 415 why are you challenging me so much?!). I tried to go to bed early last time, I was ready with the lights out and everything by 1am, I didn’t fall asleep until 2am because I was busy using up the 8 candy crush lives that I had. It’s always been something, it was really bad when I was playing Sudoku before I’d go to bed. It’d be “no! I must beat my best time for X amount of games before I can go to sleep!”

I’m pretty sure the sleep deprivation state that I’ve grown accustomed to since its development over a decade ago during the early high school days, isn’t doing so great for my body, metabolism, or even my mind. Every year, going to bed earlier is a resolution that I try to attain, but fail within the first couple of days because again, I don’t know why I’m up so late!

I actually wanted to do a quick workout of sorts in the mornings. Something like blogilates (some video that last 10-20 minutes) or the 8-minute abs workout. But, because its always a struggle to get out of bed I never have the time to do anything other than shower, get dressed, put my make-up on, and make breakfast, well at least most of the time for that last one.

[The Numbers]

  • Weight: 122.4 pounds
  • Water Intake: 750 mL by 8am, 16 oz (473 mL) of hojicha green tea by 11am, 16 oz (473 mL) of hojicha green tea by 2pm, 750 mL during/post workout, 750 mL by 11pm = 3196 mL
  • Workout Time: 30 minutes treadmill, 30 minutes elliptical

[The Meal Plan]

  • Breakfast: one 100 calorie English muffin with peanut butter and honey
  • Lunch: Chobani Passionfruit Greek Yogurt (160 calories)
  • Dinner: Other breast of the rotisserie chicken, and the rest of the fried rice from Monday’s vegan restaurant
  • Snack: 1 granny smith apple with fat-free french vanilla yogurt fruit dip

At It Again

Sometimes despite all my ambitions and determination things don’t quite follow through, especially when things compete with either sleep or food. It’s been a while since my last entry, over half the year’s gone by, and it’s about to start the 10th month of the year.

The resolutions as I wrote down for 2013 were as follows:

  • Work out! This seems to be the thing that’s on every year. Hopefully one year it’ll finally stick right? This has been an on and off thing, more off than on, but more on than previous years. I’ll get more into this after I go through the rest of these resolutions. 
  • I want to get out of my comfort zone and socialize more, even though the hermit within me will resist with all its might. The last time I went out, only good things came out of it. So I might as well try and work at it and do more. In the end, I want to take more chances, and live life to its fullest. I’ve definitely done this, and I’ve been burned because of it. I have been taking more chances and risks as a result though, and some people have come to know me as the girl who did it because “what’s the worse that could happen?” Which is all in all a good thing. But with rotations lately, I just haven’t found the time or the motivation (or possess the budget) to go out to do things anymore. I sort of give up on this whole notion right now, it’ll come when it comes. 
  • Be a doer. Since starting college really, I’ve been taking the back seat to pretty much everything. And well, I think it’s time for me to find that drive again and stat getting involved and do things. I’ve already taken two steps in the right direction by taking initiative in my club. Let’s hope I keep it that way! Definitely a doer. “What’s the worse that could happen?” Seriously, a friend of mine said that sometimes she imagines my voice in her head saying that when she’s debating between doing certain things. I’ve definitely gotten myself really involved with Rho Chi. I even went to the Diabetes Walk this past Saturday to do some blood glucose testing for people. AND I HATE doing that sort of stuff. But in the end, it was a decent way to spend my Saturday morning. Definitely got me out of bed early (granted, I still woke up late). 

So that working out bit, it’s a huge struggle for me. Internal struggle of do I work out for an hour or do I go home and eat/sleep. Usually working out occurs after rotations (or at least that was the intent), but it appears that after rotations I get mad hungry and can’t function and run home (or to the store to get food to make at home) to eat. That or I’m far too exhausted to even think of the potential of being on that elliptical for 30-60 minutes, and the comforts of rolling around in my very comfortable memory foamed topped bed seems to be calling me like the Sirens called Odysseys. Oh but I digress.

I’m turning 26 this year. In 21 days to be exact.  Academically and career-wise, I’m content with myself. My skin’s also taming it self a lot more compared to all the other years. I think my skin’s the best it’s been in a while, just hoping the redness fades away with time and that I don’t get any more attack of the blemishes. I finally found a moisturizer that really works for my skin, and it makes it feel SO SOFT! 

I’ve been following Shay Carl’s family vlogs (SHAYTARDS), and he is doing this ShayTober or whatever he’s deciding to call it. But in any case, now’s a good time as any right? So starting tomorrow, I’ll be pushing myself back in the grind and getting myself to where I want to be physically. There’s also the fact that I’m participating in the 5k ROC (Ridiculous Obstacle Course) on the 12th. Below are my goals, and hopefully I can keep myself accountable for everything for the next month at least. 

My Goals for October:

  • Lose 10 lbs (I’m standing around 123-124 lbs right now); I know that doesn’t sound like I weigh a lot, but I’m a tiny person, that my BMI right now is at a 22.5 (Normal Weight Range: 18.5-24.9). So if I drop down to 113 lbs, my BMI would be 20.7 so nowhere near underweight or anything so it’s a good goal. 
  • Lose the belly fat! This is really my main reason for doing all of this. It’s been an ongoing struggle since high school, and I’ve never been able to tone it down. I really want to, so hopefully I can put in the efforts to do this now. Hopefully see improvement by the time I turn 26 on the 21st of October? Maybe?
  • Drink more water! I was actually doing really well with this during the summer semester, but then things went out of whack and then I got off track, and I guess I got out of habit. According to some random hydration calculator I found, I should be drinking 1.9 liters of water. That’s two and a half bottles of my camel back water bottle. I can do that. The more water, the better!

The biggest issue I have with this whole working out bit is keeping myself accountable. So hopefully for the next month I’ll post a blog or something about what I did today, and keep a workout and food log and what not. Let’s see how this goes. Before pictures will happen tomorrow morning, then it begins! 

Helllooooo 2013!

Time definitely flew since the last post. It’s already almost 2 weeks into 2013, and I’m finally getting a chance to sit down and reflect and think about stuff whatever it may be.

But here’s the recap since last post!

For Fall semester ’12 of P2 year, I made it a personal goal to come out of it with a Cumulative GPA of a 3.5 or higher. End result? After lots of hard work and dedication, I came out the semester with a Term GPA of 3.629, and that means… my Cumulative GPA ended up being 3.506! Barely there, but it’s still there and that’s all that matters! The semester before, my cumulative GPA was a 3.487. With my grades as they are, it’s really given me a lot to think about with what I want to do with myself because my grades give me a really big opportunity. I’m thinking of taking up a residency of sorts… either in Colorado or California. I’m working on it. But I have a better idea of what I want to do with myself. Until May 2014, I have lots of work to do on my end. Eep!

I’ve definitely been getting my act together and it’s all good so far. And I hope that it stays this way. I have a long two more semesters before I can officially start my APPE rotations. Wee!

So now the typical year reflection posts…

Quick Bullet List of Events in 2012:

  • I moved out of my last apartment and into a new place with a roommate. My roomie isn’t a student at the school actually, so it’s rather nice having company yet not the student/college environment that rooming while in school typically has.
  • I’ve studied a lot… and a lot… and studied some more….
  • I went to NYC all by myself for Spring Break ’12 and crashed on an old high school friend’s couch for the entire week while I explored the city at my own leisure. She just handed me the keys to her place and told me to enjoy. I definitely want to come back. Hopefully in March or May!
  • I spent two months on rotation back home in Colorado at Rite Aid and Walgreens. It was a good learning experience.
  • I spent three whole months at home with my parents, living under their roof, without any means of independent transportation. I survived somehow… so that gives me hope that I can possibly move back in with them for a while if I end up going back to Colorado.
  • I went to my first anime convention Nan Desu Kan. Dressed up as Robin for the entirety of it. Discovered that I’m much more of a comic book fan than an anime fan. But conventions are conventions, they’re still good.
  • After I finished the semester off, I headed to California to enjoy my break and stayed with my best friend and her family for 24 days. Definitely felt welcomed, and they enjoyed me so much they extended their welcome to have me move in with them if I land a position in California. I like this networking thing.

Overall, it’s been a pretty quite year. But that’s what happens when you’re just in school the whole time. Not much to really do, nor is there much of an opportunity to do so.

How did I do with resolutions? This is from the 2012 Resolutions that I wrote last year…

“Start caring about my skin – the acne’s gone, now to take care of the rest. Gotta look my best for my future patients!” I started to take care of my skin. I still get breakouts here and there, but I think it’s a hormonal thing. The more stressed I get, the nastier my face gets. But otherwise, I’ve been using other skincare products to help out. I’m really loving the Lancome Genfique… too bad it’s so friggin’ expensive and my samples aren’t going to last me forever… but the tiny 0.27 fl oz bottles that I get still seems to last a long time. So it might be worth investing in that $60 bottle one day… when I’m out of it. I need to start remembering to take my Super Skin herbal supplements that my mom sends over all the time. Otherwise it’ll go to waste, it doesn’t do any harm.. so maybe it’ll do some good?

“Work out 2-3 times a week regardless of the weather or exams – last year the goal was just to start working out, and I definitely have accomplished that.” I completely failed. Working out frequently is hard for a student when studies and sleep always seems to take higher priority.

“Be more financially responsible – due to a cascade of events in 2011, I found myself in a financial bind of sorts, and well… If I tighten my hold on my finances I should be okay.  But that also means, not going out to eat much any more, learning to buy only what I’ll eat/cook before they go bad; in the end, I want to start saving money instead of surviving semester to semester. I’m also hoping to get a paid intern job sometime soon as well.” I feel like I definitely accomplished this aspect. I had saved enough money that with the money from my loan, I lived well. AND I managed to fund my spendings when I was out in California. It was definitely a blast. I don’t waste as much food anymore as well, as I’m going to the store more often. I also feel like I’m eating healthier.

So two things out of three isn’t too too bad right???

So what are my Resolutions for 2013?

  • Work out! This seems to be the thing that’s on every year. Hopefully one year it’ll finally stick right? 
  • I want to get out of my comfort zone and socialize more, even though the hermit within me will resist with all its might. The last time I went out, only good things came out of it. So I might as well try and work at it and do more. In the end, I want to take more chances, and live life to its fullest.
  • Be a doer. Since starting college really, I’ve been taking the back seat to pretty much everything. And well, I think it’s time for me to find that drive again and stat getting involved and do things. I’ve already taken two steps in the right direction by taking initiative in my club. Let’s hope I keep it that way!

Well, that’s all folks! Here’s to a brand new year with brand new beginnings and opportunities!!!

It’d All About the Effort

So.. just finished Day 5 of Insanity.

I can say that I haven’t been able to fully follow each video in its entirety yet. But I’m not as out of breath as I was when I first started five days ago. I’m working towards it, and well, starting next week I’ll push harder and and “dig deeper.” I guess this week is just me trying to get a feel of it and not overdoing it to the point where I dread working out and eventually stop. 

I also weighed myself this morning: 123.4. I’m not entirely sure if that’s all water weight that I’ve been losing or I’ve really been burning the fat off of myself. I still can’t tell yet. I’ve definitely been eating at least four times a day, trying to maintain a 1500 calorie intake diet. I was originally 126.something when I first weighed myself on the scale when I got it on Sunday. A week later, I’ve lost approximately 3 pounds? 

The Biochemist/Pharmacist in me says that’s not healthy. Healthy weight loss is anywhere between 0.5 to 2 pounds a week. But it might just be a combination of the work out, the increased water intake, and the smaller more frequent meals making it so that my blood sugar’s more stable. We’ll keep this up another week and then adjust accordingly.

A few weeks ago when I was back home at my parents, I stepped on a scale for the first time in a long time and it measured 127-ish. That was when I realized that I was letting myself go with pharmacy school, whether or not it was due to inactivity (when I was working I was always rushing back and forth in the restaurant or pharmacy) or because I’ve been eating more (other than going to school, studying and sleeping, all that’s left is eating). But in any case, I’m going to aim to hopefully go back down to somewhere between 110 and 115. If anything, to fit back into my size 2 dress pants that are a bit too tight around the waist/hips now. 

If anyone’s reading this and think that my weight goals are ridiculous, well… I’m tiny. 5’2″ to be exact. Up until this year, I was always hovering around 115 pounds plus or minus a couple of pounds. When I quit tennis during senior year of high school because I didn’t like the new coaches and how they let the JV team get enormously large, I started to develop those love handles. After all of that, I never really got back into any physical activity any more besides my racquet sports gym class freshman year of college. It wasn’t until December 2010 that I decided to do something different with myself, and start working out despite the fact that I had no idea how to start. I just got a gym membership and started to go three times a week or something like that after I got off work, refusing to let myself go home until I’ve been to the gym. 

Then I got really sick, as in it hurt to breathe sick. And that was the end of my work out streak. When I got to pharmacy school, the school gave us free gym membership to the gym at the hospital next door. And well, I started to go there more frequently, but exams got in the way and all that jazz. Then the weather got in the way cause it was always cold and there’s one thing I dislike doing and that’s going out into the cold and walking in it after working out super hard and burning up from the inside out. 

At least with Insanity, I can do it in the comforts of my own home and can just jump into the shower right afterwards like I’m about to do after I finish this post. Going to eat a bit afterwards, go to the store to get more cereal and some pineapple and then afterwards come back home and watch some Pharmacology and start studying for my exams. Wee!

Don’t we all love Pharmacy school?

It Doesn’t Have to be New Years to Have Resolutions

For the majority of my life, I’ve gone with the flow of things. Following the natural progression events that come at me and taking the next step that just seems logical. I’m the planner, the initiator, but never will I claim to be the doer. I do things of course, but like I said, it just follows the natural progression of things.

For instance, the whole school thing. I wanted to be a doctor, so then I became a biochemistry major partly because the required classes for that major overlapped a lot of the required prerequisites for medical school. When I decided to forego the idea of becoming a doctor as I realized there were more things I wanted to do in life, I said I wanted to be a prostheticist.Sure, but here I am two years away from getting a doctorate in Pharmacy. Why? Because it was the most practical thing to do with what I had accomplished thus far. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still get that job satisfaction. I’ll still love what I do, I wouldn’t be in it if I couldn’t see myself enjoying it. The point of this is to illustrate my tendency to just follow the natural logical progression of things.

If that flow doesn’t exist, things don’t happen. That’s the reason why I say that I’m not a doer. Looking at past blog entries from my old blogs from the xanga to the livejournal, to the blogger and finally wordpress. I’ll say that I’ll do something, that I want change. I’ll plan it, I’ll even initiate it. But the problem comes down to not following through on it. Sometimes I make excuses saying that I’m too busy for it, or that I can’t handle it.

I want to be a doer.

I want to go out there and do things, make goals and achieve them. Make goals that aren’t career or school related. Part of all of this stems from the fact that growing up, my parents always pushed the whole being accomplished in school and attaining a sustainable career. They never really pushed me towards anything else. After I’ve gotten my PharmD and everything, what else is there to achieve then? School would be done. Career will be achieved. What next?

I wish I could reinvent my life. Or at least how I go about things. I’m not unsatisfied with how far I’ve come since I’ve been on my own. It’s just now that I’ve uncovered myself, I need to start branching out to start figuring out what I want to do with myself. I don’t want my life’s only accomplishments to be succeeding in school and becoming a Pharmacist.

Dramatic changes never stick though. So I guess I’ll work on it little by little, step by step. There are a number of things that I want to do with myself, that I used to do and I miss doing (I blame school for derailing me from some of these things).

To start, I guess I should list some things that I want to start doing (again):

  • Reading Books – even if it’s for a little bit a day or every other day
  • Reading the News – I want to be more knowing of the world around me; as of right now I have no idea what’s going on asides from what friends who do follow these things post on facebook.
  • Working Out – this is a big one, I told myself to start working out December of 2010. And I did, then getting sick got in the way and I wasn’t able to continue the momentum after the sickness went away; I started when school started up again, but the early sunsets and cold deterred me from the gym. I haven’t been back at the gym since. 
  • Cooking – I want to be able to cook healthily, and appropriately for myself. I don’t want to overdo the cooking. Despite the fact that a dish can be a foodgasm in the mouth, it’s only good in small amounts. I want to be more conscience of the food waste, and how much I can eat and how much I do need to cook.
  • Budgeting/Being Financially Responsible (or Sound) – I never really had to think about money before, and well my first semester of Pharmacy school had unexpected financial. Second semester, faired a little better.
  • Stop using school as an excuse for everything.

I think that’s mostly what I want to start off doing, and I guess I can really just get into it all right now. I know that the last three are things I’m really going to try and work on this semester. So what am I going to do to get the ball rolling with this?

  • I’ll be starting the Insanity workout routine this coming Tuesday (so that according to their schedule, I’ll be able to have Mondays off since they’re the heavier school days for me, thus I can’t use it as an excuse to avoid working out). I’ll probably keep track of how I’m doing with Insanity on this blog just so I can continue to motivate myself. There will probably be before and after pictures as well and actual weight values. Let’s see if this program really works the wonders it says it does right?
  • Cooking sort of goes along with my idea of eating healthier. I need to stop eating large portions, and also so irregularly. I want to eat smaller, yet more frequent meals. I know it sounds like I’m about to go into this diet frenzy but I’m not, not really at least. I already feel that I eat pretty healthy as it is, so I don’t feel the need to change what I eat, but more how I eat. In addition, I want to plan out what I’m going to eat so I can shop better and so that there will be less food waste (thus saving money).
  • Budgeting – I’m smart with money, at least I always was when I had a consistent income coming in instead of a bulk of money all at once. I guess one thing is that I should eat out less. Maybe make it a goal to only eat out once a week or something like that.

I don’t want to just succeed in school, but I want to succeed in life too. So hopefully this is a new beginning. It’s never too late for those.

Time to stop planning, and start doing.

Farewell 2011

I keep doing that, don’t I? Say oops, I’ve been busy and been too occupied to write and all that nonsense, and that I’ll  blog more often. Empty words really. But hey, at least I come back from time to time. Looking back at the past 365 days, I’ve realized that a lot has happened, and my life has drastically changed because of all of those events. Some good, some bad, some are just change and progressing in life.

As a quick bullet list of events in 2011:

  • Got interviews for pharmacy school – out of the 6 schools I applied to, all 6 wanted me to interview. I attended interviews for 4 of them, and all 4 accepted me into their PharmD program
  • Fell in love with the first guy ever at the ripe ol’ age of 23, and thus began my first relationship ever – it’s given me many first, i.e., boyfriend, kiss, etc.
  • Quit my first job ever at noodles & company – and I miss the people there very much, without them I don’t think I’d be the person I am today. It was a good three years working with them.
  • Became a very proficient pharmacy technician through on-the-job training, which has given me an upper hand in pharmacy school thus far.
  • Paid off my 2010 Toyota Corolla S model that I bought at the end of 2009.
  • Moved cross country to Massachusetts for pharmacy school – out of the 4 schools I was accepted in, I chose the furthest one and the shortest program out of all of them.
  • Lived with my then boyfriend, fought, found out our differences, found out about myself and my needs – in the end, it resulted in breaking up with him due to the fact that we both weren’t on the same phase in life and that our needs differed
  • Made new friends and in the process learned how deceiving some people can be, and how others are out there to simply take advantage of others; yet at the same time found good friends through all of that mess who’d have my back regardless
  • Finished my first semester of pharmacy school with three A’s, 2 B+’s, and one B
  • Realized that my friends back in Colorado are definitely true friends, and despite the fact that I don’t have many friends the ones I do have are definitely all I need.

Now that I’ve listed things, I swear there was more. If I were to sum up 2011 in a couple of keywords they would be relationships and new beginnings. 2011 was definitely the year of change, of advancing to a new chapter of life for me. I definitely would say that I don’t regret any of the choices I’ve made this past year. However, there are some things I would have changed if I knew the things I knew today. But regardless, I’m content with where I am today.

And since it is New Year’s Eve technically right now, I suppose I should list some resolutions that I should hope to accomplish in 2012.

  • Start caring about my skin – the acne’s gone, now to take care of the rest. Gotta look my best for my future patients!
  • Work out 2-3 times a week regardless of the weather or exams – last year the goal was just to start working out, and I definitely have accomplished that.
  • Be more financially responsible – due to a cascade of events in 2011, I found myself in a financial bind of sorts, and well… If I tighten my hold on my finances I should be okay.  But that also means, not going out to eat much any more, learning to buy only what I’ll eat/cook before they go bad; in the end, I want to start saving money instead of surviving semester to semester. I’m also hoping to get a paid intern job sometime soon as well.
  • This really isn’t a resolution, but I also want to get a kitten/cat, and I’m aiming for getting one this summer, hopefully. It truly depends on how my financial situation is, but I truly truly want a pet! It’d keep me company in my apartment.

I suppose that’s really all I have in mind for what I achieve for 2012. Let’s see how well I’ll pull through in 2012!

Happy New Year’s everyone! ❤